WATCH THIS: SUPER BOWL XLVI EDITION
It is an excellent day to be a Giants or a Patriots fan. It is a terrible day to be a Jets fan. And if you follow any other teams, it’s a pretty decent day to eat some Fritos, imbibe some alcoholic beverages and watch the Budweiser Clydesdales be adorable. Yes, today is the holiest of unofficial American holidays, Super Bowl Sunday, which should be the most inessential day for WATCH THIS of the year. I mean, you’re all planning on watching the Super Bowl, so what other direction do you need? Plenty - there is, in fact, a right and a wrong way to watch the Super Bowl, which is not just a game, but an all day event. Let’s find out what the right way is, shall we?
First off: Do not watch any of the pre-game shows. Black out NBC, ESPN and
Versus NBC Sports off your cable box until game time. Instead, indulge the part of you that will always love watching puppies mindlessly parade around a miniature football field. I am talking, of course, about the Puppy Bowl, airing at 3PM ET on Animal Planet. If you are looking a (rather ridiculously) in depth preview of that game, I would suggest consulting Yahoo Sports.
If that doesn’t satiate you, TNT is hosting an all-day Super Bowl Law & Order marathon, going from now until the end of time. And I might as well mention that the Lingerie Bowl is on MTV at 4PM ET, but come on people, in the age of unlimited supplies of free Internet porn, why is there any demand whatsoever for the Lingerie Bowl?
This is the simplest part of the day: Just switch your plasma screen over to your local NBC affiliate at 6:29 ET and you’ll be ready to go for kickoff. Or - if you want to impress all your friends at your Super Bowl fiesta with the advances of modern technology - grab an HDMI cable and hook your computer up to your TV, then stream the game on NBCSports.com (the first legal online steam of the Super Bowl ever).
Do not watch Madonna. Honestly, I’m not sure what the thought process was booking the halftime act this year. The Black Eyed Peas suck, but at least they’re still popular. The Who didn’t have any of their old talent left, but at least they’re big with the type of audience that does football. And acts like Springsteen and Prince, well those are just solid picks any year. But Madonna? She hasn’t been relevant since she did the theme song for Die Another Day and she’s not exactly popular with people who wear mock Patriots jerseys as normal everyday wear, meaning she doesn’t keep the normal Super Bowl audience nor does she bring in a new one. Could you not land the Foo Fighters or Adele, NBC? Was Bon Jovi busy doing something else today?
Anyway, ranting aside - the half time show should go on the air around 8PM ET. at which point I would suggest changing the channel to CBS where 60 Minutes is airing their pre-Oscars interview with Meryl Streep. Meryl Streep is peerless and an American treasure on par with the Lincoln Memorial, so it should be much more interesting than listening to Madonna warble through “Ray of Light.”
As you will surely be reminded thousands of times during the Super Bowl itself, the season premiere of The Voice will be airing after game festivities conclude. Which is all well and good - Cee Lo Green is cool enough to make that show bearable - but the real entertainment comes on after your local NBC news, with Jimmy Fallon’s Super Bowl Special. Fallon has been in Indianapolis Super Bowling it up, and his post-game show will air live (which probably will mean even more Fallon giggling than usual) and feature Andy Samberg and Adam Sandler as guests (which probably guarantees you will see multiple Adam Sanders on screen at some point in time). It should be a fun time - and at the least, it should be better than those Jimmy Kimmel post-Super Bowl shows that ABC runs.